Supporting Children with Emotion Regulation

Emotion regulation can be one of the more challenging aspects of parenting. Whether your child is experiencing outbursts, 'tantrums', anger, aggressive or defiant behaviour, it can at times challenging to know how to respond and support them.

Here are some tips to help support your children as they grow and develop their emotion regulation skills:

Understand Triggers

Children often struggle to regulate emotions when faced with triggers, which are specific situations, environments, or experiences that elicit strong reactions. Identifying these triggers is the first step. For example, hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation can heighten emotional responses. Keep a journal to track patterns and situations that precede emotional outbursts. Once you understand the triggers, you can proactively adjust routines or provide support to mitigate their impact.

Stay Calm

Children often mirror the emotions of those around them. When faced with a child’s emotional outburst, staying calm is crucial. Modelling the behaviour you want to see will help children to learn what is expected and how they should manage their emotions. Strategies such as taking deep breaths, speaking in a steady voice, and avoiding reactive behavious are useful tools to develop in yourself. Responding to your own emotions in a measured and positive way will also help promote a safe and secure relationship between you and your child.

Offer Positive Praise

Reinforce your child’s efforts to manage their emotions by offering specific and sincere praise. For example, say, “I noticed how you took a deep breath instead of yelling when you were upset—that was a great choice.” Positive reinforcement encourages children to practice emotional regulation and builds their self-confidence.

Take Time to Connect

A strong emotional connection with caregivers provides children with a sense of security, making it easier for them to manage their emotions. Spend quality time with your child through activities like reading, playing, or simply talking about their day. Attachment theory highlights that children with secure attachments are better equipped to handle emotional challenges.

Name Emotions

Helping children identify and name their emotions builds emotional literacy. Use simple language like, “You look upset. Are you feeling frustrated because you can’t find your toy?” Labelling emotions validates their feelings and helps them understand that emotions are normal and manageable. Over time, this practice enhances their ability to articulate feelings and seek appropriate solutions.

Build Positive Coping Skills

Teach children age-appropriate coping skills to manage stress and strong emotions. Techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or engaging in physical activity can help them regain composure. Encourage mindfulness practices, such as guided imagery or simple meditations, which have been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation in children.

Work as a Team

Involve your child in problem-solving when emotional challenges arise. For example, if transitions are difficult, ask, “What could we do to make getting ready for school easier?” Collaborating on solutions empowers children and teaches them that they have control over their emotions and actions. Family-centred approaches promote cooperation and mutual understanding.

Working as a team also extends to co-parenting with your spouse, another parent, or even grand-parents. It is important to make sure a consistent approach is taken to supporting children through their emotion regulation, including how to respond to outbursts or challenging behaviour.

Understand This is Marathon, not a Sprint

Emotional regulation is a skill that develops gradually and requires patience and persistence. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge that setbacks are part of the process. Keep in mind that consistent support and modelling over time will yield long-term benefits. Research in developmental psychology emphasises that a steady, supportive approach helps children build resilience and emotional competence.

Helping children learn emotional regulation is a rewarding journey that fosters their mental well-being and strengthens your relationship. By implementing these strategies, you’ll equip your child with tools to navigate life’s emotional landscapes with confidence and grace. Remember, your guidance and support are key to their growth and success.